Don't Mess With Agency!

-Choice and Accountability #3-

Agency, or the ability to choose, is one of God's greatest gifts to His children. Read about agency in Joshua 24:15; 2 Nephi 2; and Doctrine and Covenants 82:2-10. With a parent or leader, discuss the blessings and responsibilities of agency. Record in your journal your understanding of agency and the consequences of choices and actions.

       I have always loved the topic of agency, probably because I love to choose for myself! I'm very independent and hate it when others even hint at forcing me or guilt-tripping me into choosing something. Let me guess? You're probably the same way! There's a reason for that, and the scriptures explain why.

       The interesting this is, even though I fight so hard to choose for myself, there are times I still find myself trying to control others. Why do I do this? I don't think I am the only one. I think it stems from a lack of understanding about what agency really is. The more we study and understand it, the more we are able to apply it to ourselves AND to how we treat others. Below are the findings of a study I've been doing on agency, I hope you find in them something that ignites your curiosity and begins you on your own journey to learn about agency.

What is agency?
The ability to act and choose for ourselves. This is a gift from God.

• 2 Nephi 2:16 The Lord God gave unto man that he should act for himself.

Really, it's only because of the atonement that we even have repentance and salvation as options.

• 2 Nephi 2:26 And the Messiah cometh in the fullness of time, that he may redeem the children of men from the fall. And because that they are redeemed from the fall they have become free forever.

Thank goodness for that atonement! We would all be forced to choose Satan if it weren't for that.

Why is agency so important?
         We read in Ezekial 18:27 that "when the wicked man turneth away from his wickedness that he hath committed and doeth that which is lawful and right, he shall save his soul alive."
Our very salvation is based upon choice. Have you ever wondered why "it is impossible for a man to be saved in ignorance"? Well, you can't CHOOSE to follow a path that you are ignorant, or unaware of.

         Before we came to this earth, Satan tried to take away our agency. (Moses 4:3 "Satan...sought to destroy the agency of man, which I, the Lord God, had given him.") He was planning to force all men to choose righteously! Now what's so bad about that? Everyone would make it back to heaven because we would all choose good!

        But wait...nobody would choose anything. "Man could NOT act for himself save it should be that he was enticed by the one or the other" (2 Nephi 2:16). Without opposites, there is nothing to choose from.

        The very essence of Godhood is the ability to think, decide, then act. The very foundation of love is based upon choice. My husband loves and stays with me because he has made a choice to do so, and isn't that much more romantic than if I were to chain him up and force him to stay? :)

God cast Satan out of Heaven

How do we react when we feel others would take away our agency?
       Well we know how God reacted. He cast Satan out of his presence because he was threatening the very essence of God's plan. The Plan of Salvation would not exist without agency.

       The whole war in heaven that we talk about was based upon agency. Those who chose Christ wanted to keep and protect their agency. They are also all those who have ever been and will be born on this earth. We learn in Revelation 12: 7 that "Michael and his angels fought against the dragon; and the dragon fought and his angels." We were likely among the angels of Michael.

       We fought to protect our agency. And since Satan and his angels were cast out of heaven to this earth, the war continues here. Even though we have a veil of forgetfulness, I think we continue to protect our agency because part of us remembers how hard we fought before we came here.

       The sad thing is, if somebody tries to force us to do good, we usually choose the only thing we feel we have a choice over--the opposite of what is being forced. That is why it is SO dangerous to "invite" somebody to do good to the point where they feel you are forcing them. There is no more sure way to drive somebody away.

What's the proper way to "invite" rather than force?
       Jesus Christ, of course, is the perfect example of how to do this. The natural man is always trying to force people to act a certain way, even with the best of intentions. But if you look closely at Christ's example, you'll notice he does not guilt-trip us. Neither do many of his prophets.

       My favorite example is when Christ is talking to Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, explaining why they should not eat of the fruit of knowledge of good and evil. He says,
         "But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it, nevertheless, thou mayest choose for thyself, for it is given unto the; but, remember that I forbid it, for in the day thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die" (Moses 3:17).

1. So first of all, he makes the instruction, or his hope, clear. Do not eat of that fruit.
2. Then he reminds them that they have a choice whether or not to obey him.
3. Then he explains the reason WHY. Here he explains the consequences of that action. 
4. He leaves. He gives them space. He allows them to exercise their agency and doesn't "hover."

       I think sometimes we get annoyed when people (especially children) ask "why?" too often. We just want them to do it and stop asking! But we know that man cannot be saved in ignorance. Why? Because he must know the reasons behind things in order to make well thought out decisions. The fact that you or your child is always asking "why?" is evidence of your diving nature as a child of God. No other creature on earth asks this question.

The family is the best place for children to learn to choose for themselves.

How are commandments different from being "forced" to choose a certain way?
       I think sometimes we see commandments as rules that are so strict, they feel like a way to force us back to heaven. Perhaps that idea has come from imperfect parents or teachers trying to enforce rules in the home or at church. It is our natural instinct that tempts us to control others.

       However, in Doctrine and Covenants 82:8-9, Christ gives a very clear definition of what a commandment is. He says,
"I give unto you a new commandment, that you may understand my will concerning you; Or, in other words, I give unto you directions how you may act before me, that it may turn to you for your salvation."

       So a commandment from God can also be called directions how we may act before him, in order to receive salvation. Curious. He's only giving us a road map back to him. He hopes we will choose him, but He knows, better than anyone, that forced love is not love at all.

Views of an LDS feminist: Why I'm Glad to be a Woman and Someday, a Mother

I like being a girl.

There, I said it. I like being a girl because I like crafts. I like wearing dresses and dancing and putting on makeup. I like crocheting and doing my hair. I like playing the piano and reading and writing and serving others. I enjoy making treats for the sisters I visit teach and I love having girl-friends.

I also like going to work in my dress-suit feeling official and making two grown men, far older than I and with higher educational degrees, listen to my opinion and take it seriously. I like being the Assistant Project Manager in the department of Online Curriculum Development. I'm making a difference and I know that. My ideas are unique and they are good. I am contributing to the cutting-edge online world of education, and I am proud of that.

In July I will have my bachelor's in English and Spanish education. I also studied German for 3 years. I've worked in fast food, construction, office jobs, as a para-educator, as a teacher, and I've served a full-time mission.

I do a lot of the same things boys do, but I am not a boy and I don't want to be.

I like being a girl because being a girl is different from being a boy. Out of all the important things I have done and will yet do, being a mother will surpass all of my accomplishments. There is no doubt in my mind about this.

Satan is Attacking Womanhood
There is no doubt that womanhood as a whole is under attack. Women all over the world are fighting for equal rights with men. We have a lot of rights that women in the past have fought for and I am so grateful to them. We can vote, own land, run for political offices, where pants, be a CEO, fight in the military...you name it. If you think the world is suffocating your potential then it might be a personal problem. We've all just got to get it into our heads that we are enough--then we can stop being ashamed of our gender.

Too many women today don't want to be equal with men...they want to be men.

News flash: You're different. Any scientist will tell you there is a biological difference that cannot be denied. Why not embrace your distinct differences and stop trying to cast away all that makes you unique?

Maybe it was the way I was raised, but I have never felt that there was anything I couldn't do. My parents gave us chores all the time--sometimes the girls would wash the car and the boys would make the bread. The girls pulled weeds in the garden right along with the boys. We all pruned the fruit trees, we all took piano lessons, we all played sports for recreation, and we all played video games. But undeniably the most important thing they taught us was about the gospel of Jesus Christ.

I love this gospel, and I love Jesus Christ. I believe he has redeemed all mankind. "he inviteth them all to come unto him and partake of his goodness; and he denieth none that come unto him, black and white, bond and free, male and female; and he remembereth the heathen; and all are alike unto God, both Jew and Gentile" (2 Nephi 26:33, emphasis added).

Those words are true. I have a personal relationship with God and I have never felt less or belittled because of my womanhood. There is a lot of confusion in and out of the church right now about the priesthood of God. What is the priesthood and why is it "kept" from the women?

"The priesthood is the eternal power and authority from God" (True to the Faith p. 124). Preach My Gospel adds that the Priesthood is "the power and authority given to man to act in God's name for the salvation of His children" (p. 32). If priesthood power is used for the salvation of God's children it must mean that it is given to mankind so we can help one another. It is by nature a selfless power. So why this need to hold the priesthood? Why this need to be just like the men? Do we underestimate our power to do good? To serve? To play a role in God's plan--his work and his glory?

We Can't All be Goalies
On my mission I often confronted this concern with an analogy I thought up. When you play a team sport, each member of the team has a different position. In soccer you have your midfielders, defenders, attackers, goalies etc. What would happen if all players tried to protect the goal? They would never make any points, it would be no fun to watch or play--the game wouldn't even function.

Moses 1:39 says "For behold, this is my work and my glory--to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man." The work and purpose of God is to help ALL men and women return and live with Him again--and we ALL play a part in making that happen. How can people be resurrected with perfected bodies if they were never given a body in the first place? Men can't bear children alone, and neither can women. Men have been given the authority to perform essential ordinances for our return to Heavenly Father, but women, along with men, provide understanding of these ordinances. They help in the sacred preparation, nurturing, and support as their children and grandchildren endure to the end in righteousness. The fact of the matter is--nobody can do it alone. That's the point. We were never meant to get to heaven alone. In fact, we can't make it to heaven alone. Neither men nor women.

Women--don't let the world tell you that your role is unnecessary. If you let yourself believe that then Satan wins. If he can get women to believe that motherhood is a lesser calling, then what happens to the glorious plan of God? It's the same thing that would happen with our soccer game if everyone tried to be a goalie--it wouldn't function.

Strike me down with a lightning bolt, but I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that child-bearing is the very essence of the priesthood. Think again on the definition of the priesthood: the eternal power and authority of God. Is childbearing not a power of God? It is our most godly attribute.

Isn't she precious?

Let's also remember that when one player on a soccer team scores a goal the whole team rejoices. Let's rejoice in our role as women.

I love being a girl.

Easter Dinner!

So according to Map my Run I ran 3 1/2 miles the other day. It might have been four because afterwards I ran to Broulims, the local grocery store. But then I walked home because I was tired. and it's hard to run with merchandise.

I got my roommate to take a picture of me after my run

I just wanted to prove that I ran, and I'm feeling good :)

I ended up not running the 10k I'd signed up for in Utah because I had too much homework and didn't finish in time. But it's okay because that same day I got to attend a sealing of a family I taught on my mission and the baptism of my close friend's sister-in-law. It was worth being down in Utah just to be there for those even if I "wasted" 30 dollars on the 10k... I'll do it eventually :)

Right now I'm focusing on learning how to cook healthy, vegan food. I've been vegan for about a week and I love it! I've cooked a lot of fun recipes for my boyfriend and me. My boyfriend resists eating healthy food so I've been trying to find ways to make the healthy things taste good to him. So far it's been pretty successful. Get ready for a ton of recipes. I'll post everything I've tried this week and tell you how they turned out. I'll span it throughout a few posts. By the way, my boyfriend's name is Alaowei. 

I wanted Easter dinner to be really special because my Alaowei's brother was flying in from Nigeria to the states for the first time. Also the airport is like five hours away so they had been driving all day. They seemed to enjoy the dinner--I mean, Alaowei actually ate his whole salad. That is success :) I'm going vegan, but Alaowei's favorite food is shrimp, so I surprised him with that--everything else I cooked for that dinner was vegan though. I made Fettuccine Alfredo, All Hail Kale salad with papaya-ginger dressing, a strawberry drink, and pumpkin spice "cheesecake." 

Yep, there it is :) Fancy.

Cauliflower Alfredo Sauce 

My roommate Katie gave me this recipe when she found out I was trying to go vegan. It is delicious! It tastes just like Alfredo sauce but without the chest pain afterward :) This is the first time I've tried it. It called for butter and milk but I substituted them with olive oil and coconut milk, which I've written into the recipe. You can substitute the coconut milk for whichever type of milk you prefer. Aparently from the recipe card she gave me, my roommate got this recipe from Pinch of Yum blog. If you try it, let me know how it worked for you! Both my boyfriend and his brother loved it. Of course, I didn't tell them it was vegan until afterward :)

Ingredients

8 large cloves garlic, minced

2 Tablespoons olive oil

5-6 cups cauliflower florets

6-7 cups vegetable broth or water

1 teaspoon salt (more to taste)

1/2 teaspoon salt (more to taste)

1/2 cup coconut milk (or milk of choice)

Directions

1. Garlic: Saute the minced garlic with the oil in a large nonstick skillet over low heat. Cook for several minutes or until the garlic is soft and fragrant but not browned (browned or burnt garlic will taste bitter). Remove from heat and set aside.

2. Cauliflower: bring the water or vegetable broth to a boil in a large pot. Add the cauliflower and cook, covered, for 7-10 minutes or until cauliflower is fork tender. Do not drain.

3. Puree: Use a slotted spoon to transfer cauliflower pieces to the blender. Add one cup vegetable broth or cooking liquid, sauteed garlic with oil, salt, pepper, and coconut milk. Blend or puree for several minutes until the sauce is very smooth, adding more vegetable broth/water or coconut milk depending on how thick you want the sauce. You may have to do this in batches depending on the size of your blender. Serve hot! If the sauce starts to look dry add a few drops of water, vegetable broth, or olive oil.

Notes

I used vegetable broth, which was delicious, but I didn't like how much I had left over. I think if you boiled the cauliflower in water and then added a cup of vegetable broth to the sauce it would taste the same!

All Hail Kale Salad by The Detoxinista

Apparently the Detoxinista modeled this recipe after a salad at the Veggie Grill, which must be delicious because this salad definitely was! Like I said, my boyfriend actually ate his. And his brother got seconds :). this recipe makes 1.5 cups of dressing.

Ingredients

1/2 cup papaya chunks

1/4 cup fresh lime juice

1/4 oz fresh ginger, peeled

2 Tablespoons coconut vinegar (I used red-wine vinegar and it tasted fine)

2 Tablespoons olive oil

1/4 cup honey

1/4 teaspoon fine sea salt (or just salt)

1/4 cup water, or more, to thin

Directions

In a high-speed blender, combine all of the ingredients and blend until completely smooth and silky.

To prepare the salad you'll need:

1 bunch curly green kale

Papaya mango salsa from Trader Joe's (or any salsa of choice)

Maple glazed walnuts

Papaya ginger dressing (recipe above)

Shredded cabbage (optional)

1. Remove the kale leaves from the stems, and wash and dry thoroughly. In a medium bowl, toss the shredded cabbage in a bit of the papaya ginger dressing, and coat well. Set aside.

2. The Veggie Grill serves this salad with homemade corn salsa, but the Detoxinista prefers the Trader Joe's papaya mango salsa because it matches the dressing better. I bought a corn salsa from the grocery store that tasted great with it. 

3. Top the kale leaves with a bit of Ginger papaya dressing, then use your hands to massage the dressing well into the leaves. The kale will soften and wilt as you go!

Notes

This is normally an all-kale salad, but my kale didn't wilt as much as I hoped. I added other greens to the salad so as not to scare off the veggie-haters from healthy food. I added spinach and dark romaine lettuce to soften the overall texture of the salad. And it turned out great! I also didn't include the cabbage and therefore skipped step 1. 

Strawberry Drink

No picture, sorry :/

The first time I tasted this was on my mission in the home of a sister from Colombia. I thought it must have been some fancy recipe but it was just strawberries, sugar, and water. This type of drink is something the Hispanics make a lot with different types of fruit. They call it "agua de sabor," meaning water with flavor. It's light, fresh, and delicious because it's made with real fruit! 

Ingredients

1 16 oz bag frozen strawberries (whole or sliced, it doesn't matter)

Water (amount depending on your desired texture)

Sugar (to taste)

Place the strawberries in a blender. Fill the blender a little over 1/3 full with water. Pour in a very small mound of sugar and blend. Add more sugar if you desire. Your guests will never guess how simple it was to make :)

Raw Pumpkin "Cheesecake" by the Detoxinista

I was surprised by how healthy and simultaneously delicious this cheesecake was. Some vegan desserts either taste healthy or aren't healthy. But this one is neither. Don't expect perfect cheesecake texture replication, but it is still delicious, whatever category it belongs to. I definitely recommend this. 

Ingredients

1/2 cup + 2 Tablespoons raw cashew butter

1/2 cup carrot puree

1 1/2 teaspoons pumpkin pie spice

2 teaspoons fresh lemon juice

2 soft medjool dates

2 1/2 Tablespoons raw honey

1/4 teaspoon fine sea salt

Directions

1. If you're making your own cashew butter, throw 2 cups of cashews into a high-powered blender, like a Vita-Mix and blend on low until smooth and creamy.

2. This will make more than you need, so you can either save the rest or put in less cashews to begin with. You can also use store bought cashew butter.

3. Prepare your carrot puree. I threw about 1 1/2 cups of organic baby carrots into my Vita-Mix, and blended them on low for about 1 minute, tamping them down along the way. (You may have a little extra after this, make sure to measure after blending.)

4. Throw all of your ingredients into a mini-food processor and process until smooth and creamy, scraping down the sides occasionally. Adjust the flavor to taste.

5. Pour batter into a greased 4" springform pan, or a pan lined with plastic wrap. Place your "cheesecake" in the freezer to set overnight.

6. Slice and serve IMMEDIATELY from the freezer! The texture is perfect when frozen. 

Notes

Before blending my carrots I steamed them, because I don't have a vita-mix. I also added some water to my cashew butter, so it turned out much thinner than it was supposed to, but it still worked. Instead of a pan I simply used a plastic bowl lined with plastic wrap and let it set overnight. However, I don't think the texture was perfect immediately after removal from the freezer. I let mine sit out for at least a half hour before serving. It was too hard directly from the freezer, so I recommend taking it out in advance before serving.

So overall the dinner was a success! I am excited about learning to cook and I'm happy that Alaowei like it. I mean, he's the one that's going to be testing all my experiments! :)

Let me know if you try any of these recipes!!