Dear Baby Monibidor...

Today I watched my belly as you kicked and punched me from the inside. This is the first time I've really seen my stomach move because of you hitting me. Daddy just started school and now I'm in less of a hurry to get home from work, because I know he won't be home when I get there. So I sat staring at my belly move for a long time and loving you and wondering what the future holds for our little family.

You at 20 weeks

The world you're coming in to is a rapidly changing one. Not only is it changing because of advancements in technology, but also in moral standards. One thing I see on a daily basis is young peoples' dislike for learning. I'm a middle school and high school teacher, so I try daily to inspire 13-15 year old people to love reading, and English, and discovering. Some of them do, but others flat out refuse to learn. They are lazy and crave to satisfy this laziness by drinking alcohol, getting high, and playing mindless video games. Many leave no time or effort for reading and thinking.

I think of the place where you just came from and wonder what it must be like: in the very presence of our Heavenly Father and the excitement of this life's purpose strong and fresh in your heart. I feel that you are special and I imagine that you were very excited to come to earth. Probably excited to take on the challenges of earth life, and continue to battle for your agency here as you have done there.

Part of that battle of agency must include learning. Christ declares in Doctrine and Covenants 88:79-80 that we are to learn of things both in heaven and in earth "that [we] may be prepared in all things when [He] shall send [us] again to magnify the calling whereunto [He] has called [us] and the mission with which [He has] commissioned [us]." The more we learn about God and this earth, the more able we are to serve Him. It's like a warrior who has trained long and hard for battle--he will fare better than the warrior who procrastinated his training.

I hope you love to learn, my dear. I hope you enjoy the reading of good books that make you think and consider your complex human experience. I hope you delight in the scriptures to discover your true identity as a daughter of God. I hope you are able to think and to reason and to work hard and think of others' needs as you think of your own. I hope you feel free to exercise your god-given creativity, that you can express yourself and find joy in expanding your unique talents.

I will do all that I can to teach you these things and to create an environment where you can flourish. Daddy and I are so excited to meet you and so grateful that our Heavenly Father is letting us care for one of His precious daughters. The world is changing rapidly, but we have the ability to resist this change. Through God's grace we can maintain purity, intellect, character, and spiritual sensitivity. One day you will understand all this, but more importantly, I hope you know more than anything that Daddy and I love you! We are working hard to create a home where you will feel God's love and where you will find peace and purpose!

We aren't perfect, and neither will you be! But we have each other. And we will love each other in spite of, and even because of, our imperfections.

Until later, sweet baby girl :)
Love, Momma

Re-focusing on Christ

If you use Facebook or any type of social media you've likely heard the name Kate Kelly appear in vehement discussions about whether or not the church is still true, and other extreme comments and claims. I thought about writing my views on the subject, but then I decided I was a little bit tired of all this. And I came to the conclusion that all these discussions will only ever go in circles if we have taken our focus off the most important belief in the Church--that this is Christ's church, that He came and lived a perfect life, taught pure doctrine, and suffered and died for us.

Do we really believe that?

If we do, do we believe in Christ or do we actually believe Christ? Do we believe that he existed, or do we believe that His message of hope, peace, freedom, and power apply to us today?

Or maybe the more appropriate question is--do we know His message well enough to believe it?

I've seen many read the Book of Mormon just long enough to gain a testimony of it, and then set it aside believing that is enough. Many of us know the stories in the scriptures, especially those who have grown up in the church, or any church. But it's not enough to know the stories.

Flannery O'Conner, author of A Good Man is Hard to Find, said, "A story is a way to say something that can't be said any other way, and it takes every word in the story to say what the meaning is....When anybody asks what a story is about, the only proper thing is to tell him to read the story."

Similarly, my college professor always used to say, "the words themselves are the meaning."

There is a power in Christ's words that cannot be paraphrased. In the Book of Mormon, King Benjamin gathers his sons around his deathbed to share his last testimony with them before passing away. He testifies to them of the importance of the brass plates--or the scriptures.

He tells them, "I say unto you, my sons, were it not for these things, which have been kept and preserved by the hand of God, that we might read and understand of his mysteries, and have his commandments always before our eyes, that even our fathers would have dwindled in unbelief, and we should have been like unto our brethren, the Lamanites, who know nothing concerning these things, or even do not believe them when they are taught them, because of the traditions of their fathers, which are not correct" (Mosiah 1:5 emphasis added).

The only difference between the righteous Nephites and the wicked Lamanites was that the Nephites had the scriptures always before their eyes, and the Lamanites did not. If not for that, they would have been the same. We see many Lamanites who became converted because of the words of the scriptures, and many Nephites who fell away.

To me, the story that best illustrates the need to know Christ through his words is the story of Lehi and the tree of life.

1 Nephi 8.

We know that the tree is the love of God.
The fruit is exaltation--the greatest gift of God.
The iron rod is the word of God=words given through ancient prophets in the scriptures and modern prophets in General Conference. We need both.
The great and spacious building is the pride of the world.
The fountain of filthy water is the depths of hell.
The mists of darkness are the temptations of the devil.
The forbidden paths are sin.

We know that there were some who didn't hold to the rod at all (didn't read their scriptures at all). They chose sin. Many ended up in the great and spacious building (distracted by the pride of the world) or fell into the fountain of filthy water (found that the holy spirit had withdrawn completely from them, thus being in the depths of hell).

Many held casually to the rod of iron (read their scriptures occasionally or read without purpose). They tasted of the fruit of the tree (felt God's love--exaltation, or returning to God's presence, was within their grasp). But what happened to them?

When speaking of the great and spacious building Lehi says, "And great was the multitude that did enter into that strange building. And after they did enter into that building they did point the finger of scorn at me and those that were partaking of the fruit also; but we heeded them not. These are the words of my father: For as many as heeded them, had fallen away" (1 Nephi 8:33-34).

Every single person that "heeded" those in the great and spacious building fell away. To heed is to pay careful attention. I don't think we should shut ourselves out from things that are going on in the world and keep ourselves ignorant from attacks others are making on the church. But I do think that we need to be careful to make sure that we are first heeding Jesus Christ--that we make mention of His name more frequently, and that we think of Him and ponder His words.

Think about it: it was the Word of God that led to the love of Christ. If you want to get close to Christ, that's how you do it. Other primary answers such as prayer, obedience, Sabbath day observance--are all taught in the scriptures and will come naturally to those who search them daily. Every other principle and ordinance that we dispute and discuss publicly on Facebook is clearly stated there.

I'm sharing this not because I think I'm great at it, but because I can feel my own testimony weaken when I don't read my scriptures daily. I can feel my own judgment blur when His words aren't fresh in my mind. It really is like food for our souls. Our bodies cannot go very long without complaining of hunger. Why would our spirits be any different?

So many of the questions or discussions we read on Facebook/twitter/instagram/snapchat would be more profound and meaningful if we treasured up the words of Christ continually.

I was in a choir a few semesters ago, and we recorded Janice Kapp Perry's "I Testify of Jesus Christ." I created this slide show to go with it. Listen for my voice in the opening trio :) If you know me, that is :)

I leave this song as my testimony--I mean every word of it.

Or if that doesn't work, follow this link to youtube: I Testify of Jesus Christ

About Me

Dear Reader,

Thanks for visiting my blog! I've tried writing blogs before, but something always felt wrong about them. Most popular blogs I've read have a theme, and I could never come up with a theme for my own blog. I have broad interests that are seemingly disconnected and when I wrote I felt like things were thrown together and hard to follow. I would lose interest and I thought blogging wasn't for me. One night I realized that if I was going to keep interest in a blog it would have to have something to do with Jesus Christ, because it was when I turned to Him that I was able to deal with and understand my depression. Depression is something I've dealt with all my life. I am lucky to have a father who also went through the same thing. He was able to show me that you can fight it, and we each did so in our own ways. It's something I learned will never completely go away in this life, but with Christ I can understand how to grow from it, and it's not as bad as it used to be. To learn more about depression from a very eloquent speaker, see this TED talk by Andrew Solomon, "Depression, the secret we share."

When I was younger I kept myself from getting depressed by learning lots of new skills. I learned to play the piano, the guitar, the cello; I learned to draw, to write: stories, songs, poetry, plays; I made music videos. Sadly, many of the things I wrote or learned went unfinished and undeveloped because I couldn't hold my interest long enough before falling into indifference we call depression.

But then something wonderful happened. The Lord called me to go on a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I tried to run from the call, but it was undeniable. For the first time, Christ showed me that I can finish things. Hard things. My mission was the hardest thing I have done so far in my life, and I finished the whole thing, and I tried my best every day. That is when I came to know Christ on a more personal level. Now that I'm finished with my mission I still try to be a missionary and live the gospel because I've realized that it's those things that give me strength and understanding.

A few weeks ago I was lying in bed, almost asleep, when I sat up and thought, "I need to do my personal progress again." It was weird. And then I went back to sleep. The next day during scripture study I got my personal progress book and looked for a goal to start working on. As I flipped through the book I thought, "I need to invite Jamie to do this with me." So I texted her (my lovely neighbor and Relief Society President here at BYU-Idaho). She agreed and bought the new Personal Progress books. Right away she began planning all the projects she wanted to complete for each of the 8 values. I came up with the idea to document my journey through personal progress in a blog. It was the perfect thing, I thought, to combine my love of learning and my love for Christ. And I felt inspired, so who can argue that? :)

Personal Progress is something you can do again and again and it is different every time, because you change, you're different every time. I plan on continuing in this program for the rest of my life. Please join me, if you care to :)

Throughout the journey you'll get to know me better, and I hope to get to know you too! Please leave comments and ideas and tell me about the things you've tried.

Finally, I want you, and the world, to know that I know that Christ lives. God sent him here to live, teach, love, and die for us. He suffered for our sins. He was crucified and rose on the third day. Because of this we will all be resurrected. Because he suffered we can all be perfected. Because of Him we can overcome things like depression and whatever it is that you are facing. I know that this same Christ restored His church again on the earth in the year 1830 as The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. He did it the same way He's always done it: through a prophet that He calls. This time it was Joseph Smith, and today, Thomas S. Monson, a prophet, leads the church under the direction of Jesus Christ. The Book of Mormon: Another Testament of Jesus Christ was translated by the prophet Joseph Smith and contains the words of Christ. I promise that those who read it with real intent will come to know for themselves that Jesus is the Christ, that Joseph Smith was His chosen servant, and that Christ's church indeed has been restored in our day as The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, with all the authority and rights that were lost some years after Christ's death. I know this because while reading and praying about the Book of Mormon, the spirit communicated to me that it was true. And it will happen for you, too :)

Love, Kellie Hermansen